Friday, June 18, 2010

Drammen City Sprint - March 11th 2010

Drammen Sprint Live Blog

9.37 - Awake, got my Eurosport-language-I-Don't-recognize feed open. Currently it's on a road bike race, in the winter.
Toast in the toaster, coffee in the maker, qualifying lists have been checked, things are pretty much ready to go.

Coffee in hand, going over Pool success in the qualfiers.
On the men's side:
Beans - None
Luke - None
Mox - 2
Derek - 2
Jess - 4
Burgess - 4
Nellie - 1
Kieran - 1
Of course, if you had only bought Norwegians in the auction, you would be looking good right now - Norway put 13 men in the heats.

Beans - 3
Luke - 1
Mox - 1
Derek - 4
Nellie - 1
Jess - 3
Burgess - 4
Kieran - 4

Ranking didn't happen because the guy running the league has been paying about as much
attention to it as Nellie Dow, so I have no idea whether this will mean anything.

Start is in 11 minutes...

And Eurosport has switched from biking to the WC.
And apparantly straight into the finish of the second mens heat! What the HELL!
Which Hattestad wins convincingly on the uphill finish line.
Pazhinsky also goes through, but Onda and Thomas Northug are left on the outside.
No women's quarters, Eurosport, you disappoint me.

Heat 3, on the start line.
Petterson pretty jacked up.
Kent-Ove Clausen.
Nik Morilov
Kalle Lassila - that's Derek's tool.
Kein Einaste - Estonian, going to get destroyed.

They're off, Einaste is double poling out front, gets the lead.
Everyone else is jammed up behind him.
Pace is stupidly slow.
Lassila goes hammer down, Kjoelstad right behind.
The snow must be slow, because they really arent going very fast.
Einaste off the back.
Onto the home uphill, Lassila, Petterson and Kjoelstad side by side.
Lassila and Petterson get through.
Finish line kind of sucks, there is no lunge because its right in the middle of an uphill, so no one has any momentum.

People are watching out of the skylights in Drammen. It's that big of a deal.

Next Heat
Northug! - In the yellow bib! No Casco's! I can hear Mox cheering from here.
Kruikov - Burgess's guy going head to head with Mox's dude.
Bakken - random Norwegian, but the crowd loves it.

Larsson and Bakken take the lead
Field spreads out, Northug looks like he's struggling, but not as much as Frasnelli.
Bakken, Larsson, Kruikov with a 15 meter gap back to Petter
Kruikov almost hits a wall!
And then bails on the straight!
Nurthug right on Larsson's tips, just ahead of Ostensen
Final uphill and Northug takes the outer lane and double poles his face off
Larsson and Ostensen striding...
But it's Northug then Larsson.
Jeeeeez, thought Northug was done.
Replay shows Kruikov coming out of the corner and just getting his tips crossed and going down, tough luck, gotta work on the balance, not just the EPO.

Cute Norwegians girls, and a stop light - I wanna go to Drammen.
Next Heat
Pasini - Fabio, that's Jess
Boerre Naess - Wow, he has done nothing all year.
Roenning - Also Jess.
Erik Bransdal - My sister and Chandra had a jam sesh with him when they were in Dusseldorf - he was on the podium the next day. No big deal.
Stein Vidar Thun - Token rando Norwegian in this heat. He's not even wearing a red suit.

Game on, and Paakonen just skated the entire scramble zone. And then the entire first corner.
But he's out front, with Roenning right beside him. Surprise surprise, skating is faster in a classic race.
Jeeez, they stuck a Veissman sign to make a zig-zag corner on the course, and it always looks like the outside guy on the corner will get wiped out.
Roenning in control around the last corner, with rando Norway beside him.
Roenning gets destroyed on the last hill by Bransdal!
Came out of nowhere! The guy is a hill climbing monster. The finish line camera forget to track him he was ripping so hard.
Brandsdal and Roenning go through.

Commericial for the paralympics

Women's Semi 1
Kuitenin - that's Kieran
Saarinen - needs a bigger pair of glasses, and is a bitch
Magda Pajala
Fessel - Jess's chick again!
Casperson Falla - Derek
Olsson - Beans

Saarinen dummy's hill one, no surprise. Maybe she'll hit that Veissman sign.
Norway has changed their suit design for like the 10th time this year. They have some goofy white shit down the one leg. It looks like bird poo.
Girls looking sketchy on the easy straight downhill...
Not sure what Fessel is doing back there, other than sucking.
Saarinen and the two Swedes side by side on the last hill.
Time to go Kuitinen...
And it's Saarinen and Pajala.
Olsson gone, Fessel gone, Kuitinen gone, Falla gone.
That would be Beans, Jess, Kieran and Derek.

Semi 2
Ingemarsdotter - Derek
Kristofferson - Kieran
Kowalczyk - her nose is still huge, and she still sucks, Beans, I don't want to hear it.
Bjoergen - Fun! She and Kowal are totally going to chuck 'em at the finish line.
Bjeitlenes - rando Norway gets represented.
Muranen - Wow, that Finn has stunk all year.

Ingemarsdotter comes out flying, even EPO Kowalczyk is struggling to keep up.
God she looks terrible.
Three bird poo suits sitting behind Kowal.
Kowal has now gone bezerk and has a lead.
Make that a big lead.
Ingemarsdotter is second, but Bjoergen is making a run at it.
Bjoergen and Kristofferson dummy Ingemarsdotter and get Kowalczyk! YES!
Last uphill!!
Bjoergen goes wide, Kristofferson switches tracks and drops hard...
Not sure what technique Kowal is using, but it gets her across the line first.
Kowal, Bjoergen, and somehow Bjellaines or whatever gets a LL spot, as does Muranen.
Wow Kristofferson sucks at climbing that last hill.

So in the final we have Saarinen, Pajala, Kowal, Bjoergen, Bjellaaines, and Muranen.
Otherwise known as Beans, nobody, Beans, Mox, nobody and Derek.

Mens Semi 1
Star studded!
Except Niklas Colliander. Who the HELL is that. Completely random Finn. But his nickname is 'The Collander'. Like the thing with holes in it for straining pasta.
Joensson - looking good in that red bib
Andy Newell! - Woohoo!
Pettersen - Sticks his tongue out at the rest of the field. Guess he's planning on losing.

HAHAHAHA, Petterson eats shit on his face out of the gate!!
Correction ALMOST - replay shows he tripped, put his pole between his skiis and tripped again. What a goof.
Hatty, Joensson, Pazzy all neck in neck around first corner and uphill.
Things are tight and slow, but Hatty puts the hammer down, breaks Pettersen who had just reestablished contact.
Team tactics do NOT exist in sprints, thats BS.
Joensson's skis are quick on the downs.
Pazzy gets twisted up, loses his DP tempo.
Feed goes black!!
Back, whew.
Joensson, Hattestad, Newell up front.
Newell is hammer down, and looking good on last uphill.
Emil takes it, Newell second, Pazzy third. Hatty and the Colander FF for 4th, but the rando gets it.
Petterson 12 seconds back. Told you he was going to lose.

Semi 2
Mats Larsson
Roenning - Jess's dude
and I'm out of coffee
Brandsdal - unowned
Northug - still no Casco's
Lassila - 5th in qual, not bad, but he's Dereks
Onda - wierd flippin glasses, but impressive he got this far

Wow, Larsson, who hasn't done much all year heads to the front.
Lassila now in control, Petter sitting in the back, -again
Northug HAMMERING from the back, not doing any good, still in 6th
Now he makes up ground, but Onda goes to the front.
Lassila looking juiced, but Onda is on fire.
And Northug on the outside on the last hill!
But Onda has another gear, he and Lassila are head to head.
Onda, Lassila, Northug and Brandsdal get LL spots. Lucky bastards, they were never really in it.
Onda looking real good today, shouldn't have traded him afterall.
Roenning ended up 32 sec back, maybe you should have a chat with him Jess, it's only 1000 meters.

Women's final on deck.
Saarinen - qualed 1
Kowal - 2
Bjoerg - 6
Pajala - 10
Muranen - 3
Bjellaanes - 23 - wow thats a bit of a surprise

Annnnd, everyones reflexes suck
Saarinen and Kowal double pole to the front, Kowal goes nuts with her goofy stride/run/wobble/terrible technique.
But it works, unfortunately.
Rando norway girl waaay off the back.
It's going to be a Saarinen/Kowal battle, Bjoergen is going to need one hell of an effort to get back in this.
OOOh, fast skis on the downhill, and Bjoergen rips by Saarinen, and now double poles even with Kowal.
And Kowalczyk goes down!!!
And is PISSED!
Bjoergen is clear, with only Saarinen close, but not close enough
Last uphill, Bjoergen is in control, no one is going to catch her.
Bjoergen, Saarinen, Muranen, Pajala, Bjeillanes.
Wait for Kowal to come across the line, there better be a fight.
Here she comes...nothing exciting.
Replay, Marit just skiis right across Kowals tip, because Kowal was skating, the dirty cheater.
Playing 'We are the Champions', and the crowd loves it, almost as much as I loved seeing Kowal go down in a pile of nose, ellicit drugs and poor technique.
The two Norwegians and the two Finns in the final go a victory lap, Kowalczyk desides to stay home.

Men's Final
Joesson - Jess again, god her sprint team is good.
Newell - Nellie Dow
Onda - hahaha, he just shot the camera - Burgess
Lassila - Derek
Northug - Mox, and the crowd loves him (Northug, not Mox)

Everyone is pretty calm nothing crazy up the first hill and corner.
Joensson in control with Onda next to him.
Northug has decided being at the back of every heat isnt so awesome, so is sitting in second with a reaaaal slow pace.
Onda way out front, and the other guys don't even care!
Cause they caught him on the downhill. Japanese wax techs need some work.
Brandsdal goes down when 5 guys try to make a corner at the sasme time.
Joensson, Northug, Newell, Onda
Finish line shootout... Joenssen is gone with some killer striding.
No contest.
Northug and NEWELL! Andy gets on the podium!
Oooh, replay shows Newell changing tracks right into Lassila, and Lassila going down hard.
Eurosport has no interest in showing me the final 6 result, so go look it up in the FIS site.

And that's all from Drammen for today, but Sat and Sun also have some quality ski action.
Holmenkollen 30/50 km, as well as a skate sprint, where Kowalczyk sucks, so everyone will have more fun.

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