Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Notes For The Last Few Weeks

I have not been blogging furiously due to a few circumstances, most notably being locked in a cage during the G20 protests. Luckily I avoided a police beat down as well as getting lit on fire by some dudes in black clothes (I think they were Death Eaters). I also blame my boss, Nat Herz, for taking up all my time by reporting on Petter Northug and Marcus Hellner in Las Vegas, and then demanding high quality in my writing. Damn you, Nat, for making my work as good as it is!!

Regardless, I have a few notes from my life. Nothing crazy, just things you notice sometimes.

- Breaking and entering with a full suit (shirt, shoes, tie, jacket, etc.) is possible, but keeping the aforementioned suit clean is tricky

- Having a bouldering wall in your backyard, even if it’s
only rated for 13 years of age and 105 pounds maximum is AWESOME

- A toonie sized hole in the exhaust pipe of your car does not make it sound cooler. It only makes you look like a huge tool at stoplights. Especially when you drive a minivan.

- Buy your beer in Quebec – 3 12 packs of above-average quality beer (Keiths, Sleeman Silver Creek, Sol) cost me just $56, or about 2/3rd’s of what it would cost in Onterrible

- Putting your bread in a plastic bag desgined with holes to drain and store veggies during a heat wave is a good way to grow mold in a hurry

- When someone says they’re going to pick you up at a certain time, it’s generally a good idea to be out of bed before they arrive in your driveway

- When someone gives you a fistbump randomly in downtown Ottawa, you should probably just go with it

- Deep water free solo climbing after not climbing at all for 3 months is generally more difficult than you remembered it being

- CBC Radio 2 is far, far better than one would suspect

- After you beat your greatest nemesis in a road running race, it does not mean you can automatically run the next road race you enter with the leaders

- While answering the door wearing only your boxers at 2 PM would be frowned upon most times, such conventions should be waived during heat waves

- Watching a dog attempt to catch a squirrel in a tree 10 meters above the dogs head may be one of the most entertaining things in the world

- Root beer is making a comeback – you heard it here first

- If you’re playing Monopoly, even NHL Monopoly, when you start shooting for second place after 4 trips around the board, you know its going to be a tough night

- Nerf Guns are in fact just as awesome at 22 years old

- When wearing funky hats, make sure you forget you’re wearing them as soon as possible. It’s much more entertaining for the person you’re talking to

- Dudes wearing parachutes in road races are NOT appreciated by race organizers

Again, not comprehensive by any means, but simply some quick hits. Some may spawn full blog posts, some may confuse you, some you may find utterly idiotic. Unfortunately for you, this blog is not a democracy, so suck it.

3 comments:

  1. Nerf Guns are effing awesome. We need to buy some.

    You forgot getting you butt kicked at foosball in a best out of 3 match after you owning the first game.

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  2. With regards to demanding high quality in your writing, I think you spelled Toonie wrong--despite the fact that I come from America, I believe there's no w. Any more of these typos and that's it!
    As for all this other stuff, these observations about the beer and a bouldering wall in your backyard make me pretty excited for a visit to Canada...Also, root beer is awesome.

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  3. Hey buddy, will you be around at the end of August? We're going to a wedding in Deep River and I want to see if I can conquer your bouldering wall on the way back.

    Also, I'm a bit bitter/hurt/crying-into-my-spaghetti that you guys got hard into bouldering immediately after I left, considering that I pushed for it the whole time. I'll live.

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