Thursday, May 20, 2010

Mustang Sally... Or Not

So on my way home tonight in the car, I heard an advertisement for a new Ford Mustang GT. For those of you who don't know this car, it looks like this.

Allright, so now you're thinking "not bad, looks allright, pretty aggressive, I see where Kieran is going with this, he likes cars." WRONG.
The Ford Mustang is driven only by douchebags, tools and white trash. Why? Well for a few key reasons:
- it costs $32,000 CDN. Any car that touts itself as a performance two-door sports car for that price off the showroom floor means that some corners had to be cut.
- speaking of corners, the Mustang will not be doing any. It handles like a brick, and you'll hope that Ford didn't lay off the air bag installer boys when you hit a tree on the edge of that curve at 150 km/hr.
- You are the butt of every real car lovers jokes, as well as just about everyone else.

The Ford Mustang is the car equivalent of the tuxedo t-shirt.

It's awesome to wear it as a joke, you get some good laughs, it starts conversations. But you wouldn't want to show up to work every day in it, or even wear it around on a nice sunny day. It's black, that shit will heat right up and you'll be sweating.
But back to the Mustang. Do you want to be one of these guys??

Correct answer: No, you do not.

So, don't buy a Mustang. Buy a Volkswagen instead. They are made mostly by Germans. Sure, they started both World Wars, but when they make a car as dirty as the VW Golf GTI, I'm in a forgiving mood. Also, that was over 50 years ago, let it go already. Especially you, France.


  1. Toyotas kick both Fords and Volkswagons asses!

  2. You most definitely were lying. And you are also in the future somehow...or maybe Kieran's timestamps are just off by a few timezones.... :D

  3. I'd recommend a Mazda Protege for all your automobile needs. Hail damage optional.